Suggest funny announcer messages! :D

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Wuzzy
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Introduction


I opened this thread to increase the number of funny announcer/ticker messages. I mean the event messages at the top, for example, when a hedgehog dies:

So feel free to suggest announcer messages for Hedgewars (in English)! Because I think the English Hedgewars currently has a lack of these. Sad Smiley

Inclusion


The funniest messages may be included into Hedgewars. Big Grin
No guarantees, however.

Please keep the following guidelines in mind:

  • Message should be funny
  • Use correct spelling and grammar
  • Not copied from copyrighted sources such as a Worms game
  • You agree its might get inclded into Hedgewars

Message types


These are all the currently available message types (with examples). You can copy the text below as a template and paste it into your posts. Easy. Smile

Note: The baseball bat message only supports the name of the attacking hog.

Messages with a name

=== Hog dies (0 health) ===
Lynn is dead as a dodo

=== Hog drowns ===
Lynn finds Nemo

=== Hog skips turn ===
Lynn is the least interesting hedgehog in the world

=== Hog hurts itself only ===
Lynn should have read the field manual

=== Hog leaves the game (e.g. because the player left) ===
Lynn has to take out the trash

=== Hog is poisoned ===
Lynn doesn't look healthy

=== Hog has been resurrected ===
Lynn gets another shot in life

=== Hog explodes in kamikaze ===
Lynn brings death and destruction

=== Hog returns from the time box (try to keep it simple) ===
Lynn arrives in the present

=== Hog runs out of turn time ===
Lynn plays in slow-motion

=== King has died ===
Lynn has died! Long live Lynn!

=== Hog hurls other hog far into the ocean with a baseball bat ===
Lynn makes a home run!

=== Team/clan wins ===
Team1 wins!

Messages without name


=== Round draw ===
Round draw, how boring!

=== Health crate drops ===
Health for you!

=== Weapon crate drops ===
We need guns!

=== Utility crate drops ===
It's tool time!

Current messages


If you need inspiration, look here:
en.txt
This is the latest version of the file which is used to show all in-game texts, including the ticker messages. The ticker messages are those with “02:XX” in front, with “XX” being some other 2-digit number.



This thread in other languages:

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Star and Moon
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Browsing this site and feeling nostalgic, so I might as well suggest some messages:

=== Death from 0 HP ===
Lynn lets natural selection take it's course.
Lynn has fallen and can't get up.

=== Death from Drowning ===
Lynn needs a refreshing drink.
Lynn retreats to his underwater base!

=== Skips Turn ===
Lynn needs more time to concoct his master strategy.
Lynn is boycotting Hedgewars!

=== Self-Harm ===
Lynn is shooting for the Darwin Award.
Lynn can't seem to remember whether or not he's the enemy.

=== Poisoned ===
Lynn should probably stay home from school today.
Looks like Lynn never got vaccinated.
Don't worry, Lynn, you'll feel better in a day or two.

=== Resurrection ===
Lynn has earned a chance to redeem himself!
On the third day, Lynn rose from his tomb.

Wuzzy
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Posts: 1113

Thanks! Nice suggestions, I added a few of them.
Believe it or not, but I've added a Darwin Award joke previously. Smile

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UltiMaxKom
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Just wandering around, and want to add another things to the forum, so, uhm, I found these!
Well, better than now, and whatnot Smile

So, here it is, some ugly suggestion for Funny Announcer Messages Big Grin

=== Hog dies (0 health) ===

  • HoggyH going to meet his creator
  • HoggyH is KIA
  • HoggyH say no to life

=== Hog drowns ===

  • HoggyH know best swimming trick ever, Stone style
  • HoggyH think he knew how to swim
  • HoggyH want to go to the undertoe

=== Hog skips turn ===

  • HoggyH stock his turn for later use
  • HoggyH just had a great idea: Do nothing risk nothing
  • HoggyH overwhelmed by the Lazy Force

=== Hog hurts itself only ===

  • HoggyH thinks that shooting his own legs is good
  • HoggyH said that your shadow is your enemy
  • HoggyH want to get his insurance fast!

=== Hog leaves the game (e.g. because the player left) ===

  • HoggyH going to poop
  • HoggyH think outside the box
  • HoggyH have try the quit feature

=== Hog is poisoned ===

  • HoggyH need a hoctor
  • HoggyH need some milk
  • HoggyH transform into the green holk!

=== Hog has been resurrected ===

  • HoggyH bored doing nothing in his grave
  • HoggyH had resolve his existence paradox lately
  • HoggyH reprogram his entire cells

=== Hog explodes in kamikaze ===

  • HoggyH blown up due too much depression
  • HoggyH tried to kill two stones with one bird
  • HoggyH temper just transformed into one hard punch!

=== Hog returns from the time box (try to keep it simple) ===

  • HoggyH just finish his time lesson
  • HoggyH have realize that dark age isn't that great
  • HoggyH want to meet his past self

=== Hog runs out of turn time ===

  • HoggyH doesn't need extra time
  • HoggyH turn is come to an end
  • HoggyH never knew that his turn had a limit

=== King has died ===

  • HoggyH going move his Kingdom to Nirvana
  • HoggyH reign has finished
  • HoggyH never play chess!

=== Hog hurls other hog far into the ocean with a baseball bat ===

  • HoggyH just slap someone too hard!
  • HoggyH play baseball with hogs
  • HoggyH also known as one among The One-Bat-Man

=== Team/clan wins ===

  • HoggyTeam rule the game!
  • HoggyTeam have reconsider that losing is bad
  • HoggyTeam found themselves must submit to be the winners

=== Round draw ===

  • Round draw, at least its fair!
  • Everyone win and everyone lose
  • Close enough, but its draw everybody!

=== Health crate drops ===

  • Doctor in a Box!
  • Feel bad? Try this!
  • A Holy-Box that can heal you falling from nowhere!

=== Weapon crate drops ===[/]

  • This crate may hurt somebody! Take it first!
  • This is the solution if you run out of ammo
  • War Reinforcement from gods!

=== Utility crate drops ===

  • Package for Ninjas arrive!
  • When everything seems hard, then consider this crate!
  • This tool box may help you in your journey

===========================================================================================================================

You can actually give suggestion or critic about my suggestion (suggestion about suggestion? lol)
I mean, you could edit my suggestion if it wasn't good enough for you =]
And I know I may made mistake around my words (Freaking grammar!)
So, feel free to tell me Big Grin

Anyway, cheer up for this post ^^ !!!

( 'ಠ_ಠ)▄︻̷̿┻̿═━一 ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶ )ᕗ

Wuzzy
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UltiMaxKom: I'm not too happy with most of your messages. Most of them are not really funny or original. Please no obscure abbreviations, obscure references or inside jokes.

But a few ideas were good. I have added a few messages, but I had to rewrite them:

https://hg.hedgewars.org/hedgewars/rev/1171c08fec1c

The TimeBox messages are interesting, but I'm very hesistant to add more TimeBox messages, frankly. I try to keep them VERY simple so that the player always knows what's going on.

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KoBeWi
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Posts: 507

Well, too bad I'm not playing the English version, so I won't see this big list in game.
// are comments

=== Hog dies (0 health) ===
Hog's heart says ________
Hog will be back... maybe
Hog teleported to underworld
Hog thinks physical existence is boring
Hog forgot how to breathe
Hog tripped terminally //or fatally
Hog got rekt
Hog faints... forever //or goes to sleep
Hog met his final destination
Hog takes a trip to hell

=== Hog drowns ===
Hog has an appointment with Poseidon
Hog always wanted to try diving
Hog mistook sea for his bath
Hog says it's more fun underwater
Hog went to his evolutional roots
Hog says he prefers water to air
Let the bodies hit the water

=== Hog skips turn ===
Hog says 'not today'
Hog is stuck in ground with his needles
Hog replies an SMS
Hog chose wrong weapon (it was a Skip)
Hog is practicing his stance
Hog takes a break
Hog doesn't feel like taking action
Hog converts remaining time into mana
Hog uses Skip, but nothing happened

=== Hog hurts itself only ===
But why
Hog's suicide attempt failed apparently
Hog tried to eat the melon
Hog mistook grenade for an apple
Hog is trying his worst
Hog says that hurting enemies is too mainstream
Hog did a terrible miscalculation
Something went wrong
Nice one... no
Achievement unlocked: Be a moron
Ironic. He could hurt others, but hurt himself

=== Hog leaves the game (e.g. because the player left) ===
Hog evaportated
Hog was never real, it was your imagination
Hog uses his secret stealth technique
Hog fakes his death
Hog must go, his people need him!
Hog dematerialized
Hog activated his air form
Air power activated!
Hog transforms into nothing
Hog says he'd win anyways //or lose
Hog forgot how to exist
Hog ragequitted
Hog left the Matrix

=== Hog is poisoned ===
Hog kissed a cobra
Hog ate rotten meat
Hog is hurt by poison!
Hog still says he's fine
Hog looks forward to finally dying
Hog's has an immune-system attack
Hog played too long with sick friends
Hog was attacked by bacteria
Hog has an inner battle with a virus
Hog is transforming into pickle

=== Hog has been resurrected ===
Hog is back!
Zombie alert!
Hog wanted to try a life of undead
Hog had a deal with necromancer
It's a miracle!
Hog is ready to die again
Live, die, repeat
Hog resurrected in less than 3 days
Hog changed his mind and prefers living
Hog tried to live again and it worked
Aren't you enough, Hog?
Hog couldn't miss the battle
And then he died. Just kidding
Hog insterted next coin

=== Hog explodes in kamikaze ===
Hog used his secret sacrificing technique
Hog doesn't want enemies to be lonely in underworld
Hog will now continue his battle in afterlife
Hog always wanted to die in a really cool way
Hog said he'd die anyways
Hog reached speed of light and teleported away
Hog commited a collective suicide

=== Hog runs out of turn time ===
Hog is protesting against time constraints
Hog overused his turtle powers
Hog just overheated
Hog's plan didn't include attacking
Hog wouldn't make friends with Chronos
The timer! The timer, Hog!
Sonic would be dissapointed, Hog
Hog argues that time is just a social construct
Hog prepared for too long

=== Hog hurls other hog far into the ocean with a baseball bat ===
Hog's space program has failed
Hog offers free flights
Destination: The Moon
Hog screws gravity
Hog is amazed by his own hit
Hog still thinks he could send it further
Hog is researching the weight force
Hog failed to be gentle

=== Team/clan wins ===
Team says it was a boring round
Team could do it even using just one finger
Who is the winner? Team is the winner!
Team is having a party today
Team may have won this battle, but the war isn't over
Team's master plan led it to victory
Wow, that was a good strategy, Team

=== Round draw ===
Huh? Did I miss anything?
A draw! World balance has been sustained
A draw. Everyone fought bravely to the end
Hey! Where is the winner?!
Boooring! Give me my tickets back
The Ultimate Game Over
Everyone is dead. Good.
So, who is the winner?
A draw. Not to be confused with a drawer
Draw me a draw!

=== Health crate drops ===
Touch it. Get healthy. Simple.
Want to get healthy? This is how you get healthy
Don't hestitate to take it. You might die
Take me! TAKE ME!!!
Guardian angel sends his regards
Mmmm... Tasty bandages
A suspicious box with healing powers... how mysterious!
It's a box with health inside. What did you expect?
No health is enough health
Healthy enough? Still not a problem
The secret of immortality
Almost like 1-UP

=== Weapon crate drops ===
It's dangerous to go alone //Take this
Dem weapons
Heaven's like to play with mortals, apparently
Pew pew in a box!
Could more of you die, please?
What? Was that a Santa?

=== Utility crate drops ===
The opposite of destruction
Who could have left these?
Collect all the tools!
Tools! TOOLS! TOOOOLS!!!
I like tools
Surprise everyone!
So, there's this thing, which does that

Wuzzy
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Thanks, KoBeWi! Your messages are really funny! Much appreciated contribution.

As usual, with alternations and removals:

https://hg.hedgewars.org/hedgewars/rev/b4ebc6779810

I tend to remove inside jokes or very weird messages.

Don't be sad that it's only in English now. The messages might still be translated

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KoBeWi
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Posts: 507

Wuzzy allegedly wrote:
I tend to remove inside jokes or very weird messages.

Uh, there were some messages among them I like a lot

KoBeWi allegedly wrote:
Hog's heart says '________'
Hog converts remaining time into mana
And then he dies. Just kidding //(that's a Bastion reference btw)
Hog argues that turn time is just a social construct

But ok. Glad you liked my ideas anyways (mostly) XD

Wuzzy
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Joined: 2012-06-20
Posts: 1113

I think we have plenty of messages now. Time to unsticky this thread.

People can still continue to post suggestions.

Hi, I am a Hedgewars developer. Smile I accept personal donations in bitcoin. Heart 17fsUywHxeMHKG41UFfu34F1rAxZcrVoqH

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